Finding the purpose in your Pain

My mother always told me growing up, “if you’ve never learned, then you’ve never lived”. She always recounted her life’s journey by sharing a lot of her painful stories. Reflecting on these moments now as an adult, I now appreciate the lesson she always tried to deliver that “there is purpose in your pain”. Life has a way of serving us “blows” that knock the wind out of our lungs! When pain hits the soul, depression may take up the space in our minds, hearts and bodies. Depression is a constant reminder of our failures, faults and troubles. Depression often leads us to believe that things just can’t get any better from here. Challenging these negative thoughts can be difficult and exhausting. After all, depression reminds us of the past experiences, and not what is to come!

Many of my clients believe that because I am a therapist, I don’t battle or have never battled with my own pain, trials and tribulations. The truth of the matter is I’ve had my fair share of many troubles. It’s what I believe has really taught me how to understand pain, depression and even how to overcome it. I challenge my clients to use positive self-affirmations and mindfulness practices, because I’ve done my own homework and it works! Overcoming depression isn’t achieved in just therapy alone. It’s maintained in your lifestyle. It’s how you live, breathe, think and believe. It’s the media you feed your brain, the conversations you have with yourself and the relationships you engage in.

When dealing with depression, you must and should always learn your triggers. You should also develop positive replacement behaviors and activities. It’s very important to understand that depending on others for your healing will never give you true victory or freedom! I do believe that strong support systems are incredibly vital in overcoming depression, but it should never be a persons main “medicine”.

If you are battling with depression, or you know someone who is, challenge them to speak to it! Yes that’s right, get in the mirror, look at yourself and say “depression, you don’t control me”. Start your day with affirming your strengths, acknowledging your growth, and believing in your dreams. Remember that life is short, and if we stand still too long we will never blossom into our full potential and purpose. Use your pain, as lessons instead of losses. If you don’t discipline yourself to find the growth in depression, you will never battle the negative thoughts in your mind. Most importantly, be honest with yourself. If you need time to heal, seek counseling, support groups and if desired religious organizations. Discover the power in your own pain and how you can use it to build growth!